Sun and Candlelight
by Girl in a White Dress
Summary: A summary would spoil it, just r&r.....


Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I'm not making any money and no infringement is intended. 

"How Do I Love Thee" was written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, so it doesn't belong to me either *sigh* 

A/N: A teeny bit of Nia & Zoe bashing ahead, for those of you who care….

This one's for Nancy *hugs*

Sun and Candlelight 

**By Melanie-Anne**

Miss Parker was in a bad mood. Waking up to an empty bed always seemed to remind of her of what it was that her life lacked. This morning was no exception. The fact that she hadn't gone to bed alone only served to make it worse. To top things off, she, Sydney and Broots were now on their way to Wisconsin on what would probably turn out to be yet another wild goose chase.

She sighed, leaning back against the plush seat of the Centre's private jet.

"Miss Parker, are you alright?" Ever observant, Sydney could see that her mind was elsewhere.

"Fine," she muttered, watching the clouds go by through the tiny round window.

Sydney knew better than to argue with her so he turned to converse with Broots. Parker allowed herself to think about the previous night and the man who had shared her bed. Her eyes closed, she wondered what Sydney would say if he knew. Not that it was any of his business, she told herself, but she was still curious.

The plane touched down with a jolt, waking her from her reverie. Always the Ice Queen, she strode down the stairs, brushing past her sweeper team.

"Where's the car?" she asked Sam, two steps behind her.

He shrugged, then went to find one.

_Could this day actually get any worse?_ Parker wondered.

Jarod had been staying in a small, run-down motel during his Pretend as a teacher. The owner – a slight, nervous young man who reminded Parker uncomfortably of Norman Bates – informed them that he'd left the area three days before.

"Of course," Parker sighed, looking through his room. He'd left his usual red notebook and a cake decoration; a tiny bride and groom meant to sit atop a wedding cake.

"Do you think Jarod's trying to tell us something?" Broots asked.

"Jarod's _always_ trying to tell us something," Parker snapped irritably, lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply.

Sydney studied the figurine carefully, thinking back to Jarod's questions about love. He'd been seventeen at the time and hopelessly lovesick. By then Parker had changed and would no longer give him the time of day. _Is Jarod in love again?_ The psychiatrist wondered. 

"There's nothing else here," Parker declared. "Let's go see what Wonder Boy left for us at school."

Twenty minutes later Parker was shuffling through the drawers of Jarod's desk. A young girl stood next to her, holding out a textbook.

"He was really into this poem. He made us write a response to it and everything," the teenager said.

Parker opened the book to the marked page, a look of incredulity on her face. She handed it to Sydney, not saying a word.

"How do I love thee?" he read aloud. "Let me count the ways."

"So tell me, Freud, what's the lab rat up to this time?" Parker asked.

"It appears as if he's fallen in love," Sydney replied.

Parker snatched the book back, her expression neutral. Sydney wondered what she was thinking. She remained silent for the duration of the trip back to Delaware. Sydney studied her carefully but was unable to decipher her thoughts. He was reminded, again, that she was a Pretender too and thus an expert in hiding her true feelings. He remembered her reaction to Nia and hoped, for her sake, that if Jarod had found love, he wouldn't forget his old friend.

"Hey, Syd, do you really think Jarod's got a girlfriend?" Broots asked, his voice hushed.

"I don't know. It's possible."

"Man, Miss Parker must be pissed."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, uh, it's just…I mean, I always thought there was thing between them, you know? I mean, he keeps sending her gifts and stuff…and there's a rumor going around that used to be really close…and I just thought, you know, wouldn't it be romantic if they did get together?"

Sydney couldn't contain his smile. _So Broots has a touch of the poet in him_, he thought. "Miss Parker and Jarod were friends when they were children. But you and I both know that doesn't mean they're in love with each other."

"Yeah, but that thing between them? He always knows exactly when she needs him. And she's never been able to bring him back. And when she was shot-"

"Broots, calm down. You don't want her to hear you saying this."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Syd." The younger man refused to give up.

Sydney sighed. "Perhaps, if this was a perfect world and the Centre didn't exist, I'd entertain the possibility. But it's not. Besides," he chuckled. "If Jarod is in love with somebody else, it improves your chances with Miss Parker."

Broots blushed and squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. He looked at Parker to see if she'd heard but she was engrossed in the textbook.

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._

_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_

_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight,_

_For the ends of Being and ideal Grace._

_I love thee to the level of every day's_

_Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight._

_I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;_

_I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise._

_I love thee with the passion put to use_

_In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith._

_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_

_With my lost saints – I love thee with the breath,_

_Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and, if God choose,_

_I shall but love thee better after death._

Parker slammed the book closed and threw it on the seat next to her. She walked over to the drinks trolley, wondering what Jarod had been thinking.

Broots picked up the book and the words of the poem only served to confirm his suspicions. _'With my childhood's faith I love thee with a love I seemed to lose.'_ Knowing better than to share his thoughts with his boss, he smiled to himself and quietly paged through the rest of the book.

*

"So Jarod wasn't in Wisconsin?"

"No, Daddy." Parker's black mood had not lifted. She wanted to go home and crawl back into bed; instead, she had to face her father's disappointment in telling him that she'd once again come home empty-handed.

"Lyle's following up a lead in Baltimore. Maybe he'll have better luck."

Parker nodded, turning to leave.

"Are you okay, Angel? You're looking a bit pale."

"I'm fine, Daddy."

She ran into Lyle on the way to her office. The look on his face was enough to assure her that he hadn't had much luck either. Her mood improved instantly.

"Lyle," she smiled.

"Parker."

"How was Baltimore?" she asked sweetly.

"Your little lap dog has the security tape we got from the hotel he stayed at. He wasn't there, but he did leave this behind." Lyle held up a lace garter. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Parker snatched the garter from her brother's hand and continued on her way.

"Hey! Parker!" Lyle called after her. _She's seriously lost it this time._

"Where's Broots?" Parker growled, standing in the doorway of her office. Sydney looked up from his seat on the couch and shrugged.

"Come with me," she demanded, heading for the elevator. Inside, she pressed the button for SL-5, the knot in her stomach dissipating when she realized this was not the elevator her mother had been killed in.

Broots looked up when Parker and Sydney walked through the doors of the tech room. "Uh, Miss Parker, uh-"

"What's on the tape?" she asked.

"Well, uh, it's the tape from a motel in Baltimore-"

"I know that, Broots, what's _on_ it?"

"Just Jarod at the front desk. There is one interesting detail, though."

"Well, I'm all ears." She sat on the edge of the desk, folding her arms across her chest. Broots was fascinated by the scrap of lace she held in her fingers and swallowed nervously.

"Uh, yeah. Umm, here it is." He enlarged the image on his computer screen, focusing on Jarod's hands. Sydney gasped as the image became clearer.

"Is that a wedding ring?"

"What?!" Parker stood up, peering closer.

"Uh, maybe it was part of his Pretend," Broots suggested timidly. He'd known Parker wasn't going to like this.

I don't think so," Sydney said. "Don't forget the poem and the figurine."

"And the, uh, garter," Broots said.

"Assuming he is married, the Centre is going to want to find his wife." Parker dropped the garter on the desk. 

"If Jarod did get married wouldn't it make sense for him and his wife to just disappear? I mean, wouldn't it be safer?"

"Since when does the lab rat do what's safe?" Parker snorted. "No, he won't disappear until he finds his family."

"So all we need to do is find is wife, then we'll find him."

"Easier said than done, Broots. To find her, we'd have to know who she is."

"Oh, right."

Taking pity on the poor technician, Parker sighed. "See if you can track down Nia Pedron and Zoe whatever-her-name-is. We might as well rule them out."

"You seem certain it's not them," Sydney observed. He'd noticed that she'd said their names with distaste. _Maybe Broots was right._

"Nia was Jarod's first love, his first sexual encounter," Parker said slowly, as if she were explaining this to a child. "He was attracted to her because of her traumatic life. You can't build a relationship on sex alone anyway. Zoe was in an abusive relationship and she was very ill. Jarod may be drawn to weak women but he'd never marry one. He needs someone challenging."

"Someone like you, Sis?" Lyle interrupted, leaning in the doorway.

"Don't start."

"Interesting theories there, but I'd always thought that you were Jarod's first love."

"Lyle-" she warned.

"You almost sound jealous," Lyle continued, oblivious to the predatorial look in Parker's eyes. "Are you cross because someone else managed to catch him, in a manner of speaking?"

Parker took a deep breath and forced herself to smile. "Do you know how ridiculous you sound?"

"I'm surprised you didn't think of trapping him like that. You're not my usual taste in women but you are appealing. Legs that go on forever-"

"Lyle-"

He smiled. "I can't say I've never wondered what-"

Her gun was at his temple before e could finish his sentence. "You've wondered what?"

"Uh, nothing."

"Good answer. Now get out. Finding Jarod is _my_ job."

"You're forgetting that brief encounter with the FBI agent," Lyle said on his way out. "What was her name again?"

"I forget," Parker lied.

"Do you want me to track her down as well?" Broots asked.

"Why not? I'm pretty sure she's not the one."

"She was different from the others, though."

"People don't marry one night stands, Broots." Parker could feel a headache building. _Great, now my day is complete_, she thought. "I'm going to see my little brother. Call me if anything _interesting_ comes up."

When she had left the room, Broots swiveled in his chair to face Sydney. "Told you she'd be pissed," he said.

"I think that her mood has more to do with Mr. Lyle than with Jarod," Sydney said.

"I don't know, Syd. It's one thing for him to have a girlfriend but if he want ahead and _married_ someone…and why wouldn't he tell you about it?"

"Because he probably wants to keep her safe. And this is obviously his way of telling us." He gestured to the discarded garter.

Broots shook his head. "Man, I feel sorry for her."

"Why?"

"Umm, I mean…do you think she's going to be okay?"

Sydney smiled. "I'm sure she'll be fine." _She might just shoot Jarod when she sees him again, but she'll be fine._

*

**01:36 a.m.**

Jarod held his breath as the lock clicked open. He slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside. The house was quiet. He smiled. _She must be sleeping already. _

He was on his way upstairs when a faint flickering from the living room caught his eye.

She'd fallen asleep in front of the television, a half-finished glass of scotch clutched in her hands. Jarod tenderly pried it out of her grasp and set it down on the coffee table. She smiled at his touch.

"You're late."

He knelt on the floor in front of her, pulling off her shoes.

"That tickles."

"I missed you today," he said, sliding his hands up her legs.

Only now did she open her eyes. "Really?"

"Mmm…didn't stop thinking about you for one second." He pulled her closer to him and hugged her. "Did you miss me?"

"Umm…"

"Parker!"

She smiled. "Yeah. You know, you really need to get into the habit of saying goodbye before you leave."

"Sorry." He slid his hands upwards, lingering on her breasts. "Am I forgiven?"

"Mmm…buttons."

"Buttons?" He looked up at her, confused.

"Undo them."

"Oh." He smiled sheepishly, then slowly unbuttoned her blouse. "You're so beautiful," he said when he was done.

Parker ran her fingers through his short hair, bending forward to kiss his forehead. "I love you," she whispered.

Jarod sat back, a smug look on his face. Sometimes it seemed as though all he had ever wanted was to be loved by this woman. "Prove it," he said, his twinkling mischievously.

Parker tilted her head, her lips curving into a smile. "You mean last night wasn't enough?"

Jarod grinned. "Tell me again."

"I love you." To emphasize her point she reached behind her neck to unclasp the necklace she wore constantly. The ring it carried she slipped on her ring finger and then leaned forward to kiss her husband. "I love you."

"And I love you." Jarod pushed her back against the couch and bent over her.

"Really? Prove it?"

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways," he began. "I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of Being and ideal Grace."

Parker blinked back tears. No man had ever recited poetry to her. She wondered how Jarod had known that this was her favorite poem. She reached up and lightly brushed her fingers down the side of his face.

"I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right." He kissed away the tears trailing down her face. "I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs and with my childhood's faith."

Now it was Jarod's turn to fight tears. "I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints – I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life – and if…and if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death."

Parker pulled him down to kiss her, her body melting against his. Clothes discarded, limbs entangled, they expressed what words could not. Two souls meant to be together, who had found a way to be together despite everything that was determined to keep them apart.

Just before dawn, Jarod quietly woke his wife. She stretched lazily.

"Did we sleep on the couch?" she yawned.

"Yeah. How's your neck?"

"Fine. Mmm…good morning."

"I have to go," he whispered.

Parker pouted. "I know. Am I going to be busy today?"

"Nah. I thought I'd give you guys a break. Besides, aren't you going to be busy with yesterday's clues?" Jarod chuckled.

"Yeah, thanks a lot for that, by the way. Now Lyle thinks I'm in love with you."

"You are," he said, smiling.

"That's not the point."

"Then what is?"

"Umm…that's not fair. You're distracting me." She grabbed his hand, keeping it still. "What were you smoking when you thought it would be a good idea to announce to the Centre that you're married?"

"I wasn't smoking anything!" he protested. "Maybe it wasn't my brightest idea but…." He shrugged, then smiled disarmingly. "You could always take the day off and we could, you know…."

"I know, but then I'd miss out on interrogating your ex-girlfriends."

"Parker! That's-"

"Relax, I'll be nice."

"Liar."

"You started this."

She had him there. "Fine. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye. I love you. Be careful."

Jarod smiled and kissed her one last time before getting dressed. "Love you, too."

Too lazy to go all the way upstairs, Parker pulled the blanket up and closed her eyes. The sun had yet to rise, but she knew that today was going to be a good day; she hadn't woken up alone.

~*~


End file.
